Filled With Anxiety

I was hurting...
That I stupidly focused on the wrong things that make me sad
and forget 'bout the people who are always willing to offer good reminiscences

I felt betrayed...
That I've come to apoint if condemnation of all the peolpe that surrounds me
feeling that they would all gonna hurt me

I felt depressed...
That it was like carrying all the emotional grim thoughts on my own

I was quite numb...
That I don't know how to sort things out on people who have been so close to me
yet hurt me much deeply

I was confused
That I don't know if there's something wrong with me

I was searching...
That I want to look for myself on my own
away from all the people I've known

I was lost...
That I've forgotten to notice the best people
who chose to care 'bout me

Missing You

I miss you
...the way you used to call having plenty of senseless stories to tell

I miss you
.. the way you used to text me just to check me out if I had eaten already

I miss you
...the way you used to greet me time after time

I miss you
...the way you used to be the first to check me out in the morning and also the last one at night

I miss you
...the way you used to tell me your kiddie-like stuff and corny jokes that even makes me laugh

I miss you
...the way you used to call me "sis"

I miss you
...the way you used to ask me to sing for you

I miss you
...the way you used to wake me up in the morning just to let me hear my favorite song and talk nonstop knowing I'm still sleepy

I miss you
... the way you used to invite me to go out with you over and over and over again even though I had always turned it down

I miss you
... the way you used to tell me 'bout your past relationship and how you want to forget everything about it

I miss you
...the way you used to state your work grievances and seem to wait for my concurrence

I miss you
...the way you used to seem present at all times I need you even when your not

I miss you
...the way you used to console me whenever I'm on the verge of breaking down

I miss you
...the way you used to say sorry a thousand times just for a single mistake

I miss you
...the way you used to treat me diff'rently that I seem to be even better than what I think of myself

I miss the way I strive for more 'coz I know you believe in me that much


I miss the FRIEND I have in you...
I miss living my life the day I had been with you...
I'm missing you...

haay! it has been days of loneliness that even i can't figure why..

even i don't know what made me feel that way,,. that sensitive to things that i should't have paid attention.. waheheh!!

i wonder what chemical is running along inside of me that has made feel such stupid sensation..

i hate when i cry...

aww,, what's important now is i'm fine already!! woohoo

I hate IT!!!

I hate runaways...
...It breaks up my strength to move forward that it brings tears to my face

I hate goodbyes...
...It makes my heart scream in pain but all i can do is end up in sorrowful sighs

I hate takings for granted...
...it makes me ill but still, all I can do is accept the fucking reality instead

I hate leaving...
...it gives so much ache that I have to move on alone in my life even I have if I have planned my future with that someone in it

I hate it when I act like this..

I hate it when it turns out to be my greatest flaw...

realization

it's funny to think that some people has the insecurity in themselves despite the qualities that they themselves have..

some of them are beautiful..

some of them are smart..

some of them are admirable..

..and yet, they can't find the contentment that their heart desires.

why is it so??

according to Abraham Maslow in his THEORY OF HIERARCHY OF NEEDS, people cannot find contentment and motivation to things they can easily get..

things that are hard to attain motivates people and moves people to struve for more..

perhaps, when things become unattainable, people become frustrated and diverts their attention to other people who has the qualities that they've been aspiring for..

but, why don't we look on the brighter side of it! maybe we don't have everything but others don't have everthing as well..

we have qualities ,, great qualities that makes us unique individuals.. so let us be grateful!

hhaaaYYY!!

the semestral break has already ended and yet I still don't have any good experience!! wahehe!!

well well! I just experienced a very annoying war with the world!! haha!! my family has been reprimanding me of my excessive texting!! what can I say!! my load has been postpaid, so text to the max!! haha!! and what the heck!! they texted my friend(textmate) and told him nasty things!! that's so embarassing!! I was so apologetic!!!

he is really nothing, he's just my friend. it's just companionship.. that's why I am not guilty!! I just don't like it that they are watching over me too much that it makes me feel imprisoned..

i abide with the rules that's why I think they should have to let me do things and sort them out on my own.. I am not saying that they should not be concerned 'bout me!! I just want to have a moment that's mine and learn things from my own mistakes.. that's all =)

MY KIND OF GUY!!

I want a guy who’ll look straight into my eyes and will tell me he loves me a thousand t

I want a guy who would hug me as if nobody can harm me and nobody can take me away from him…

I want a guy who would want to stand and enjoy viewing fireworks with me…

I want a guy who would bring me wonderful places I’ve never been….

I want a guy who’ll wrap his hands around me and will make me feel alright when I’m blue…
I want u guy who will totally love just as I am…

I want a guy who would be more than willing to meet my clan...

I want a guy whom I could learn something WORTHWLILE…

I want a guy who’ll always make me feel special…

I want a guy who would rather hurt me than lie to me…

I want a guy who’s willing to listen to my inhibitions, animosities and even to my wildest stories...

I want a guy who would never hurt me in every which way he can…

I want a guy who may dissent with my convictions but would still understand…

I want a guy who could see things that even I could not see and appreciate for MYSELF…

I want a guy who take care of me and would make feel secured and protected…

I want a guy who would respect me and would never ask me to do the things we are not ought to do…

I want a guy who teach me the real essence of life...